Academy of Higher Education
by Mao
Summary: let's see here...homophobes stay away...no sex, but there is a sex-ed class...let's just say i feel perverted and i shall dig a hole in a corner and hide...review please! be brutal! *sobs at perverted mind*


****

Academy of Higher Education

They had a mission. It was official, sent from Dr. J. It's not like they wanted to do it, because they didn't. Actually, 'Miss' Relena had bribed J to give them the mission. What is the mission, you ask?

SCHOOL

They were being sent off to an all-boys school to further better their education seeing as how 'peace' was 'seeping' through the 'land', there was no longer a 'need' for the pilots in the combat/ass-kicking area.

Relena had had a plan, she was careful and diligent about it and it almost worked out perfectly. She had even arranged for the pilots to be kept in separate houses to wean them off of their 'gay' fetishes. Luckily at the last possible moment, when all the pilots knew about the mission and begged Heero to do something useful with his laptop, like to try and change the mission plan, Heero and his skills saved them from one torment. No. They still had to go to school, but Heero had gotten them into the same house on the campus. This could either be very good, or very bad. Good for them, bad for Relena who shant know about their little 'parties' in their 'separate houses'. So they were there, against their wills, trying to fit in, which turned out to be a rather easy task thanks to one lucky slip up on 'Miss' Relena's part involving the school selection.

By some miracle, they were all placed in the same classes, and are currently in the middle of a Sex Ed. lesson of which they were all, rather uncomfortably, trying to ignore. Let us see how they ignore...

Heero is at his laptop, which is hidden under the desk, big surprise there; Wufei is trying to stop a bloody nose, this is not helping him to ignore the class; Trowa is trying to sleep, it seems Quatre is quite capable of pulling an all-nighter, every night; Quatre is trying to concentrate on his manga, which is getting hard to concentrate on; Duo, of course, is making obscene gestures and jokes to the rest of the class and has basically succeeded in aggravating the teacher to the point where the lesson in temporarily stopped. 

Mr. Zechs, yes, his name is Mr. Zechs, turns around from a drawing at the board to look sternly at Duo.

"Mr. Maxwell, you seem to be very interested in in this subject to why don't you come up and teach for the rest of the period?" Mr. Zechs had been very confident, seeing as how anyone else he had said this to had shut up very quickly. This, however, did not work so good for Duo.

"Yes Sir!" Duo says mockingly, adding an army salute.

"I thought s...wh...what? You're going to do it?" Mr. Zechs obviously did not know Duo very well. Duo strode to the front of the room and the other pilots, knowing Duo very well, prepared to run out of the window if their names were mentioned. Duo sat down on the edge of the desk calmly.

"All right," he said, "let's get started here. First of all, let's just forget the whole vagina-related speech, shall we? Let's be forward here, and skip right to the hot gay sex? Yeah? [right about now Mr. Zechs goes completely white] Oh, come on, what did you think we were doing on the weekends, Mr. Zechs? Honestly, it's not like we're going to do homework when we can just screw each other! [class nods in agreement] Ok...some nice advice: if you're a first-timer, which I don't think any of you are, and your partner isn't, you should probably use some nice lube and stay on the bottom, this way, when it's time for you to fuck your partner, you'd have already had a lesson. Another hint; blowjobs make great foreplay, I highly recommend getting some, or even blowing someone else if you believe in 'give-and-take'. 

If you have a nasty disease, and your partner does not have one, and does not wish to have one, just a nice fuck, then protection is recommended, although, I myself, do not have this problem. If you haven't actually fucked someone yet, only gotten fucked, it's quite easy and takes little practice before you get it right. Basically, to be blunt, you're just shoving your cock up someone's ass. Once you master this, you can move on to finding your partner's sweet spot, and trust me, you'll know when you've found it. 

Of course when you do screw for the first time, your instincts will take over so no one should really have a problem with it. Also being really loud sometimes helps with the whole experience, so I say, scream your ass off, because everyone else will probably be doing the same thing then anyway. We can all learn a good lesson from Mr. Zechs about being loud, and I'm sure we've all heard him. [Mr. Zechs runs from the room] Right, so that about concludes the lesson for today, class dismissed, unless you'd like to say for the free-for-all after class."

[In Superintendent Treize's office]

"Treize, this Duo Maxwell has just taught my class about the joys of homosexual sex...how do you suggest we reprimand him?"

"Zechs, are you serious? We won't punish him at all, besides, it's good to learn about other than normal things you know."

"But...they're having sex...in their dorm houses..."

"Well yes, what did you think they were doing Zechs, homework, studying? Hell no!"

"He said I was loud."

"Heaven knows you are! I can barely hear myself think when you're screaming out my name, somewhat distracting, but I can't say I don't enjoy it."

"Aren't they a little young, though?"

"No, no...in fact I've taken a liking to that Chinese boy, Chang, I think, student 2746, yes, Wufei Chang."

"WHAT? That's like rape!"

"Oh no, I wouldn't call it rape if he comes and begs me for it..."

"..."

-The moral of this story? None. But, needless to say, there was some heavy duty screwing going on that day.


End file.
